some songs just make too much sense.

if we'd only stayed together

i might not have fallen apart

but the words you served destroyed my planet

i stall before i start

i stall before i start anything at all

resolution.

i'm a week late but screw it anyway. if there's one thing i learned last year it's that i shouldn't alway have to be the one reaching out and making plans with people, striving to make things happen. no longer. if you want to hang out with me or do something, awesome. go ahead and call me or text me. make it happen. otherwise i'm not going out of my way. i've made some great friends here but i've also learned that some people can be incredibly toxic whether they know it or not. i would know, i'm guilty of it too. and that can be changed if the friendship is meant to happen, but sometimes people just need to find out the hard way.

same shit different day

there are two phrases i'm sick and tired of hearing:

"you deserve better than this"

"let it go"

more so i'm sick of being in situations that involve me hearing these. because you know, maybe yeah, maybe they both are true and i know they're meant to be encouraging, but for shit's sake why in god's name does it keep happening? it's kind of awful that each time this happens i get more and more numb to dating in general, almost expecting it to be the same cycle, eventually to the point of not feeling anything. am i just perennially attracted to women who are fickle or just don't share the same attraction or even both? is it me? what the hell is so screwed up in my social life that this shit keeps happening over and over and over again??

defeated.

why can't i catch a god damn break...

december

i like to think of years as races with 12 laps. most of this year i've been bringing up the rear pretty much feeling dead last at many points. i think however with this last lap i could jump all the way to the front and win it all. here's to running down the homestretch with the wind at my back...

National Lampoon's Thanksgiving Vacation

complete with gluing lights to the roof multiple times, sockets not working, fear of a dry turkey, an 8 foot wildfire flame, Up references, and two Discovery channel marathons of Mythbusters and Dirty Jobs my thanksgiving was totally bad ass. i met some awesome people and got to spend some quality time with someone who i never really had the opportunity to do so with, someone who i never knew i had so much in common with, and someone who's super awesome at kidnapping me.

1,001

thomas edison tried 1000 different ways to make a light bulb and failed. he would say that he didn't fail, he just found 1000 different ways not to make a light bulb and one that worked.

here's to my 1,001.