same shit different day

there are two phrases i'm sick and tired of hearing:

"you deserve better than this"

"let it go"

more so i'm sick of being in situations that involve me hearing these. because you know, maybe yeah, maybe they both are true and i know they're meant to be encouraging, but for shit's sake why in god's name does it keep happening? it's kind of awful that each time this happens i get more and more numb to dating in general, almost expecting it to be the same cycle, eventually to the point of not feeling anything. am i just perennially attracted to women who are fickle or just don't share the same attraction or even both? is it me? what the hell is so screwed up in my social life that this shit keeps happening over and over and over again??

defeated.

why can't i catch a god damn break...

december

i like to think of years as races with 12 laps. most of this year i've been bringing up the rear pretty much feeling dead last at many points. i think however with this last lap i could jump all the way to the front and win it all. here's to running down the homestretch with the wind at my back...